


[Do We Have To] Go Back [?]

by RosaClearwater



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Right after the first book/movie, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaClearwater/pseuds/RosaClearwater
Summary: Hermione had been excited to go home, truly. She was looking forward to seeing her mum and dad again, to not having to fight evil wizards and set Potion Masters on fire, to seeing London once again, and having everything go back to norm--Okay, the muggleborn had to be honest with herself: she was only really happy about seeing mum and dad again.





	[Do We Have To] Go Back [?]

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write this because I’m currently going through a similar feeling. All mistakes are mine (and since I don’t have a copy of the first book on hand, I’m taking slight creative license with this).

Hermione had been excited to go home, truly. She was looking forward to seeing her mum and dad again, to not having to fight evil wizards and set Potion Masters on fire, to seeing London once again, and having everything go back to norm--

 

Okay, the muggleborn had to be honest with herself: she was only really happy about seeing mum and dad again.

 

(And even that was a bit… not-necessarily-true. After all, they couldn’t _really_ understand everything that happened in the last week, let alone the last year. And if they couldn’t really understand what had happened -- because she’d inevitably spill the beans on everything -- how could they truly support her?)

 

So, maybe Hermione really wasn’t interested in going back -- not when there was so much more to explore about the world of magic. Not when she’d only covered a tenth of the library, if that, and had only just begun to really delve into the knowledge of things.

 

But, unfortunately, her newfound home wasn’t going to be permanent.

 

(At least, not in the immediate future. Maybe Professor McGonagall might let her teach at some point, in a few years... hopefully.)

 

_._

 

“Oh, I cannot _wait_ to go back!” Lavender shrieked over the sound of multiple girls packing. Personally, Hermione can’t agree with her. But, Parvati and some of the other girls are right there with her.

 

And that's another difference. Almost all of the Gryffindors her age were able to go back to magic and families that not only knew of it but profusely condoned it. For the most part, they wouldn’t have to hide their wands when company came over or block out a core part of their life when it didn’t fit in.

 

Suffice to say, that’s what Hermione knew she’d have to do.

 

That’s what she knew would have to happen -- regardless of supportive or unsupportive her parents were.

 

Because magic just didn't  _fit_ into what she had once considered home.

 

_,_

 

She felt sorry for Harry, she really did. Going back to his relatives sounded absolutely  _awful_.

 

But…. He at least could see magic in his own way. He had Hedwig to look upon whenever he needed a beautiful reminder of Hogwarts. The Dursleys were --  from what little Hermione could gather -- anti-magic, but they really only seemed to be the type of people to remove any sort of magic from a public view. Instead of, say, completely destroying any trace of it.

 

So, the witch could see him being able to sneak away into his room and live in a world of his own. True, he wouldn’t be able to use magic (and that’s _horrible,_ especially for someone who never really had that kind of freedom before), but he’d probably be able to slip back into his own little corner of wizardry. 

 

Hermione, on the other hand, would have to hide everything. Too often are people in the house and too often do they pop by her room as a "fun" surprise.

 

(And that was before she left for nine months. She could already hear Aunt Imelda creeping up the stairs and that invasion of privacy wouldn’t be for at least another week).

 

So, no signs of magic, no mentioning of magic.

 

_Just going back to the ways things were for a little bit, sweetie._

 

Hermione wanted to cry when she read that particular letter.

 

In fact, she did.

 

_._

 

When she saw the Hagrid’s gift to Harry, she wanted to cry. Again.

 

It was irritating to the young witch, but it was also very true.

 

(See, she was both so very happy he finally had something of his parents and _so very_ jealous that he had another magical gift by his side.)

 

When the castle was just too far away to be seen, a tear escaped.

 

It's frustrating, this watery traitor revealing itself to the world, but she stubbornly turns closer to the window in an effort to hide this betrayal.

 

(She really didn’t want to be a blubbering mess in front of her friends, having already quietly sobbed into her pillow the night before.)

 

But, in all honesty, her subtlety and attempts to hide didn't really matter.

 

Harry was oblivious, preparing himself for another summer with the Dursleys. Ron was totally absorbed in his own thoughts, nodding off when he's not looking at the outside world.

 

So, Hermione just leaned further into the window and continued to silently cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, just a quick explanation:
> 
> I know the Dursleys were far worse than Hermione sees them in this -- but she sees them like that because she's an eleven year old who didn't really question adults or authorities for years.
> 
> Also, she may come off as "too whiny" of "too angsty", but once again: she's an eleven year old. Who's probably experienced so much bullying she probably didn't think she really deserved to be at a place like Hogwarts (which would've pushed to prove her worth all of the time, because it's Hermione).


End file.
